Anne Frank's Blog

New Website

2006-10-05T22:11:00.000+01:00

I've opened a trial photography account, have a look and see what you think

http://www.pbase.com/vok74

New to Old

2006-08-17T22:53:00.000+01:00

I've been experimenting with Photoshop ageing images...

Original version

Fook!

2006-07-22T20:29:00.000+01:00

Managed to get a decent shot during a big storm while staying at my parents' this weekend. That's what a call a lightning bolt, real "Wrath of God" stuff.

Eastbourne At Dusk

2006-06-11T19:43:00.000+01:00

View of the town taken from the South Downs

London Calling

2006-05-11T14:14:00.000+01:00

My parents live a 25 minute train ride from central London but I'd never gone there to take photos until yesterday. It must be living close to an area your whole life that makes you see it through different eyes. I have to remind myself that for thousands of people worldwide London is a dream photography destination in the same way New York and Paris is to me. Here are some of my shots from the day:-

Westminster tube station and Big Ben. I had to crouch down to get the angle; naturally in the centre of the pavement to cause maximum disruption

I still can't manage to upload photos in the right order! This photo of traffic trails near St Paul's should come near the end

Sunset behind the Houses of Parliament. First time using a graduated ND filter. Shooting directly into the sun wasn't a fair test!

The London Eye

St Paul's from the Millennium Bridge

Big Ben

Venice

2006-03-31T21:45:00.000+01:00

I was recently lucky enough to visit one of my dream photography destinations - Venice. Despite a bout of laryngitis I took 230+ photos in a weekend (I was a bit off form...). Here are some of my favourites:-

The Alps. I'm one of those annoying people who sit behind you on the plane taking photographs

View from Accademia Bridge

Gondola under the Rialto Bridge

Santa Maria de la Salut church

Santa Maria again

St Mark's at night. The only time it's relatively pigeon and tourist free!

St Marks Square from the campanile

View from Rialto Bridge. I was pleasantly surprised by how colourful and clean the canals are - I've not adjusted the colour of this photo at all. The way some people complain about Venice smelling (which it doesn't) I half expected to see turds and corpses bobbing around. I didn't even see a single leaf or crisp packet!

San Giorgio Maggiore and the ubiquitous gondolas

San Giorgio Maggiore at dusk. This is my favourite photo from the whole trip

A Couple More Budapest Photos

2006-02-12T13:44:00.000Z

Another shot of the Royal Palace, this time taken from the opposite side of the river.

The Chain Bridge. Up on the top right of the picture is Gellert Hill where a lot of my shots were taken. You have to be fearless to drive in Budapest, you can see in the road broken glass from the vehicles that didn't manage to merge successfully...

Weekend in Budapest

2005-12-18T15:23:00.000Z

Here are some photos from my recent trip to Budapest. I'd recommend it to anyone interested in night photography, there are some great floodlit buildings and surprisingly busy roads for traffic trails. Above is the Royal Palace taken from Gellert Hill with a 200mm zoom.

Parliament Building. Bizarrely only the centre part was lit up. This was taken looking across the Danube from the Buda side.

Over on the Pest side of the river across from the Royal Palace sits this strange statue of a boy. I am still yet to find out who he is or what the significance is!

Heroes Square. Although these photos may suggest otherwise, I did actually go out during daylight hours. I expected bland overcast skies in December but was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by blue sky and sunshine on our first day.

This is the Pest side of the Chain Bridge taken from outside the Gellert Hotel. Some people check out the nightlife when they're abroad; I hang around on traffic islands!

View of the Royal Palace, Danube and Chain Bridge from Gellert Hill. Click on it to see a larger photo, the details don't show up.

Elizabeth Bridge from Gellert Hill. The views from there are excellent, well worth the lung-bursting trek up in the dark! Afterwards you can reward yourself with a ludicrously cheap beer.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November (and not the 12th so isn't it about time you packed it in now, you cretinous morons)

2005-11-12T20:47:00.000Z

Bonfire night is a big deal down here in Sussex (I think it's something to do with the basic coastal types being in awe of fire). However, quite a good opportunity to set the camera up on the window sill and leave it going for a long exposure. The glow you can see in the distance is the council estate so that may well be burning cars rather than fireworks.

Blog Comments

2005-11-12T19:48:00.000Z

Due to the increasing amount of spam comments which thoughtfully offer guaranteed money making opportunities or cut-price Disney holidays, I thought I'd have to limit permissions to Blogger members only. However thanks to Kelvin in New Zealand who let me into the secret of word verification, I'll see how that goes before I pull the plug on anon comments....

Unfortunate Website Addresses

2005-11-12T19:40:00.000Z

Firstly there's "Who Represents", a database for agencies to the rich and famous: www.whorepresents.com
Second is the "Experts Exchange", a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views: www.expertsexchange.com
Looking for a pen? Look no further than "Pen Island": www.penisland.net
Need a therapist? Try: www.therapistfinder.com
And there is an Italian Power company: www.powergenitalia.com
Finally we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

New look blog

2005-10-20T20:22:00.000+01:00

Regular visitors (that's me then...) may notice I've changed templates. Thought this cheeky little black number was much easier on the eye than the previous dodgy orange affair (plus I am a frustrated goth who likes black. Well I say "goth", I just wear a lot of black clothing and don't smile much in public). I think it looks quite classy and not "dark and sinister" as my other half suggests...

Look no tripod!

2005-10-20T20:04:00.000+01:00

Finally managed to have a go at photographing lightning (even though it's a pretty feeble bolt). Not a bad first effort, especially as it was taken handheld out of the bathroom window whilst standing on the toilet lid!

Hamburg & Berlin

2005-09-04T20:49:00.000+01:00

I recently spent a long weekend in Hamburg for a friend's 30th. I'm pleased with how the night shots of the fair turned out considering it was raining and my first attempt! We also spent a day and night in Berlin. This outing did not get off to a good start when we were met from the train by the police and escorted to the police station for not having ID (thanks to a jobsworth railway official!) but the city certainly has an interesting history.

Hamburg Harbour

The "Dom" fair. Called the Dom as it takes place on the site of an old church. This is also the wasteground where the famous Hamburg photo session of the Beatles took place, trivia fans

The Wall. The first piece of graffiti I agree with (AND it's spelt correctly)

Oh No! More Photos!

2005-09-04T20:43:00.000+01:00

Inside the glass dome on top of the Reichstag (Berlin parliament building)

The Alster in the centre of Hamburg

Storm at Stansted airport

Berlin Cathedral

Brandenburg Gate

Faster PC! Kill! Kill!

2005-07-29T23:44:00.000+01:00

Years after the rest of the population we've finally got broadband, the sadly ignored marketing slogan of which should be "Get Porn Faster". This consumer orientated country would be a better place if it were more honest ("Immodium - stops you shitting", "British Telecom - useless bastards"). A career in advertising beckons...

Oh the irony

2005-07-25T15:38:00.000+01:00

Amusing piece of punctuation in today’s Independent where “Metropolitan Police” has been hyphenated to form “tan Police”. Particularly fitting that it appeared in an article about the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes….

This has gone straight in at number 2 of best examples of unfortunate hyphenation, my all time favourite being an article about celebrity peg leg Heather Mills “finding support with leg-end Paul McCartney”. Classic.

Also it's an excuse to use my new camera :)

D'OH!!

2005-07-22T13:23:00.000+01:00

How foolish must the would-be bombers have felt yesterday when their
bombs failed to detonate? Especially if they'd shouted something
dramatic just before pressing the button.

It amuses me to think of four guys each running up a different road
in London muttering "Fucking Ahmed, can't trust that useless bastard
to do anything".

Unlucky! You're going down in history as the Wile E. Coyote of suicide bombers.

CCTV pictures may reveal them carrying bags marked "ACME Bomb Company". Should have bought return tickets lads....

2005-07-22T13:22:00.000+01:00

waah waah waaaah

See, I wasn't making it up

2005-07-17T13:13:00.000+01:00

Astonishingly there's a CD available

Hinge & Bracket Live!

2005-07-17T12:48:00.000+01:00

Ergh! On reflection the mixing of cider, lager, wine and whisky was ill advised...

Anyone who was a fan of Hinge & Bracket will be pleased to learn they are alive and well and looking to buy a flat in the Eastbourne area. I had the misfortune to show a pair of moaning old cows round our flat last week who did nothing but whinge and gripe constantly. Don't expect a call back from them but the Hinge & Bracket similarity kept me amused. Shame really, I think they'd have got on great with old Thatcher downstairs (she had a broomstick out again last night; she'll be pleased to see us go. Really hope whoever we sell to plays drums).

This won't mean much to anyone outside the UK or under 25 - Hinge & Bracket were basically a drag act who used to pretend to be two posh old dears. One used to play the piano and the other one sang. Badly. They were very popular in the early 80's (things were more basic back then).

Well, by "popular" I mean "always seemed to be on TV when I was kid", I've no idea if anyone actually liked their stuff. The same applies to Morecambe & Wise, the black and white minstrels, Cleo Lane and lots of other lame omnipresent "light entertainment" which was forced onto the British public. We didn't even have the soft-core delights of the Channel 5 film to escape to, and even if we did it would have been too embarrassing to watch something like that with your parents.

Shit, being old enough to remember the black and white minstrels makes me feel unjustly ancient. Hard to believe that such things were being passed as acceptable entertainment during my lifetime.

The Reality of This Barbaric Bombing - by Robert Fisk

2005-07-09T10:47:00.000+01:00

Extracts from the article published in The Independent on 8 July 2005:

"If you bomb our cities," Osama bin Laden said in one of his recent
video tapes, "we will bomb yours." There you go, as they say. It was
crystal clear Britain would be a target ever since Tony Blair decided
to join George Bush's "war on terror" and his invasion of Iraq. We
had, as they say, been warned. The G8 summit was obviously chosen,
well in advance, as Attack Day.

And it's no use Mr Blair telling us yesterday that "they will never
succeed in destroying what we hold dear". "They" are not trying to
destroy "what we hold dear". They are trying to get public opinion to
force Blair to withdraw from Iraq, from his alliance with the United
States, and from his adherence to Bush's policies in the Middle East.
The Spanish paid the price for their support for Bush - and Spain's
subsequent retreat from Iraq proved that the Madrid bombings achieved
their objectives - while the Australians were made to suffer in Bali.

It's easy for Tony Blair to call yesterday's bombings "barbaric" - of
course they were - but what were the civilians deaths of the
Anglo-American invasion of Iraq in 2003, the children torn apart by
cluster bombs, the countless innocent Iraqis gunned down at American
military checkpoints? When they die it's "collateral damage"; when
"we" die it is "barbaric terrorism".

If we are fighting insurgency in Iraq, what makes us believe
insurgency won't come to us? One thing is certain: if Tony Blair
really believes that by "fighting terrorism" in Iraq we could more
efficiently protect Britain - fight them there rather than let them
come here, as Bush constantly says - this argument is no longer
valid.

To time these bombs with the G8 summit, when the world was
concentrating on Britain, was not a stroke of genius. The G8 summit
was announced so far in advance as to give the bombers all the time
they needed to prepare.

Now let us reflect on the fact that yesterday, the opening of the G8, so
critical a day, so bloody a day, represented a total failure of
security services - the same intelligence "experts" who claim there
were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq when there were none, but
who utterly failed to uncover a months-long plot to kill Londoners.

And then come the Muslims of Britain, who have long been awaiting
this nightmare. Now everyone of our Muslims becomes the "usual
suspect", the man or woman with brown eyes, the man with the beard,
the woman in the scarf, the boy with the worry beads, the girl who
says she's been racially abused.

And this is part of the point of the bombings: to divide British
Muslims from British non-Muslims (let us not mention the name
Christians), to encourage the very kind of racism that Tony Blair
claims to resent.

But here's the problem. To go on pretending that Britain's enemies
want to destroy "what we hold dear" encourages racism; what we are
confronting here is a specific, direct, centralised attack on London
as a result of a "war on terror" which Lord Blair of Kut al-Amara has
locked us into. Just before the US presidential elections, Bin Laden
asked: "Why do we not attack Sweden?"

Lucky Sweden. No Osama bin Laden there. And no Tony Blair.

Philistines!

2005-06-27T09:18:00.000+01:00

Apparently our neighbour does not appreciate hearing the works of
Marilyn Manson at 1am on a Sunday morning.

Thatcher (as we have lovingly named her) demonstrated her displeasure
by prodding her ceiling (and our floor) with a broom handle in true
"Tom & Jerry" style.

We look forward to receiving "Whinging Letter A" from the management
company later this week. Amazing how as soon as there's a neighbour
with a petty gripe they're the picture of efficiency yet when
required to do something important (their job, for instance) it takes
months for the useless shower of bastards to get into gear.

Live 8 Ticket Ebay Sales

2005-06-15T14:25:00.000+01:00

What a needlessly big fuss, but it's got Live 8 yet more publicity
which I'm sure was Geldof's intention.

People who entered with the sole intention of reselling tickets are
selfish but hardly evil incarnate. It's no more immoral than buying
an item in a charity shop to sell on. They've prevented music fans
who'd love to attend from winning, but unfortunately many people
enter competitions with the intention of selling the prize and people
who'd genuinely appreciate what's on offer miss out.

Live 8 has made their £3m+ from the text entries & what happens to
the tickets after that does not lose them money. If someone's
prepared to pay hundreds or thousands for a ticket that's their
choice. Some sellers were going to donate to charity so that's money
the charities would otherwise not have received, as well as ebay's
promised donation. Certainly some of the purported sellers didn't
have the tickets to sell but buyers should display the usual amount
of caution as with any ebay item.

It's certain performers who take a day off from counting their
millions & then expect us to bask in the sun that emits from their
backsides which should be questioned. I'm not saying they don't care
about the cause but equally they're aware it won't do their sales and
public profile any harm either. They're more in a position to make a
significant financial difference & invest their time than the average
Joe on the street who Geldof guilts into spending more than they can
afford on text lotteries, wristbands and the inevitable CD and DVD
boxset.

Sheep, Sheep & More Sheep

2005-05-21T19:23:00.000+01:00

Sheep and lambs at East Dean

"Yes? Can I help you?"

2005-05-21T19:19:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T19:18:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T19:16:00.000+01:00

"What's that?! It's my tail!"

2005-05-21T19:13:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T19:12:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T19:11:00.000+01:00

New & Updated Scotland Photos

2005-05-21T12:02:00.000+01:00

Thanks to the internet I'm now able to bore, I mean reach, people across continents with photos. I've added some new shots and replaced some of the ropey ones taken on the mobile

Stream at Drumnadrochit

2005-05-21T11:59:00.000+01:00

A few more photos of Urquhart Castle...

2005-05-21T11:58:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T11:56:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T11:51:00.000+01:00

Views of Loch Ness from the grounds of Urquhart Castle

2005-05-21T11:50:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T11:49:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T11:47:00.000+01:00

Southern tip of Loch Ness, near Fort Augustus

2005-05-21T11:43:00.000+01:00

It's that viewpoint near Loch Ness again. Gone for the Athena look this time

2005-05-21T11:41:00.000+01:00

Looking east from viewpoint

2005-05-21T11:38:00.000+01:00

View across Cromarty Firth, approx 15 miles north of Inverness

2005-05-21T11:33:00.000+01:00

Loch Fleet, approx 6 miles north of Dornoch

2005-05-21T11:30:00.000+01:00

Dunrobin Castle

2005-05-21T11:29:00.000+01:00

2005-05-21T11:27:00.000+01:00

Heading south on the east coast road between John O'Groats and Wick

2005-05-21T11:24:00.000+01:00

Helmsdale Harbour

2005-05-21T11:21:00.000+01:00

Dornoch Castle Hotel. My night shots are definitely improving, now they're just badly exposed instead of hideously exposed

2005-05-21T10:57:00.000+01:00

Dornoch Cathedral, Scotland's smallest Cathedral

Home Again

2005-05-12T12:32:00.000+01:00

Arse!

Back to Inverness

2005-05-11T12:24:00.000+01:00

Hmm, bit odd. Antlers 10 feet up a lamp post, Dornoch

Unfortunately we didn't have time to explore Dornoch further as we had to return the car to the cow shed by midday so we drove directly to the airport. We'd driven over 366 miles in total. We got a cab back to the city centre (courtesy of the grumpy taxi driver I mentioned in my first Scotland entry) where we dropped our bags off at the B&B and had a wander round town. Inverness itself is pleasant enough but doesn't really warrant much time being spent there. The castle is modern by castle standards. It has a small area open to the public and the rest is made up of council offices. We'd been spoilt by Urquhart!

If you ever need an official portrait of your cat, this place in Inverness looked very professional

Had a quiet day and evening in preparation for catching the 7.55am train the next morning. Had our first Scottish steak which was ok but nothing special, should have splashed out and gone to the fancy restaurant next door! (where a fillet was an extortionate £24).

We plan to return to Scotland and hope to see the west coast next time. The east coasters we spoke to admitted the west coast has superior views so they must be absolutely outstanding. Better start saving now...

Thurso to Dornoch via John O'Groats

2005-05-10T12:06:00.000+01:00

We headed east out of Thurso stopping at Dunnet Head, the UK's most northerly point, about 10 miles away. On the road up to the Head we saw our first Highland cows (with calves for the total "aah" factor).

Ahh, bless 'em. Highland cows (a scene we'd conveniently forget later when ordering beef chow mein)

The sea and cliff views were impressive although it was a bit too windy to hang around for too long. It was definitely worth seeing though; for approximately 15 seconds we were the most northerly (and windswept) people in the UK!

Cliffs at Dunnet Head

View towards John O'Groats from Dunnett Head

10 miles on we came to John O'Groats which was a bit of a disappointment. It's basically a car park with souvenir shacks. Also, the famous John O'Groats sign post is privately owned by a photographer rather than being a public council-owned job. Don't know if I was meant to, but I did manage to snap a covert picture on my SLR from behind a kiosk!

Apparently Thamesmead is 716 miles from John O'Groats

We followed the east coast road south making brief stops at Wick, Lybster, Badbea and Helmsdale. Badbea promised an "ancient abandoned settlement" but was more like "a wall and a few random boulders".

Dornoch was our destination for that night and is a lovely little town. Our B&B was ran by someone of the old school; in by 11.30pm or request a key! Also had the decor of someone's nan's house, including toilet roll tea cosy with sinister baby's head (a toy one obviously, an actual severed baby's head would be pushing it, and far too large to fit on a toilet roll).

The Evil Keeper of the Toilet Roll

We had a wander round town and a few pints. A strange and awkward moment in one pub was being stared at intently by a man with no arms. Still, it wasn't like he could really cause much damage so we weren't unduly concerned. Had a couple of drinks in the bar of a golfing hotel where we played "Spot the Texan", it was far too easy though with their loud voices and even louder trousers.

Hmm...wall of whisky

Managed to take some night shots that evening, justifying lugging my tripod 700+ miles. Can't vouch for how the shots will turn out though, still yet to properly master night shot techniques even when sober. Really hoped to attempt some star trails but the skies were too overcast and it never seems to get properly dark during the Scottish summer!

Dornoch is great for all your second-hand gardening tool needs. Note "Dutch hoe"; do they actually mean "Dutch ho"? And what's meant by "grape", and is that in fact an actual grape stuck to the paper?

Loch Ness to Thurso

2005-05-09T11:49:00.000+01:00

Border Vorder laid on a good breakfast (in a highly greased and fried sense of the word "good"). We abandoned our idea to take the more scenic B road route to Thurso when we realised it involved 100+ miles of single track road. We stuck to the more conventional A9.

Our first stop was Dunrobin Castle about 50 miles north of Inverness which we poked around the outside of (being too stingy to pay £6.50 each to get in). There was a good seaview round the back, luckily at this point the omni-showers were in "off" mode.

Seaview from Dunrobin Castle

The Cute Fluffy Lamb factor was high (but I doubt it's ever low in Scotland in May). If you're into such things, there's quite an impressive wind farm between Achavanich and Mybster.

ARRGGHH!!! The aliens are coming to attack us!!! Oh. It's a wind farm....

Thurso itself didn't make a great impression on arrival. Admittedly it was raining but the town itself looked drab, bleak and, well, just not pretty after what we'd been used (we're so shallow). We were served lunch in a pub by a glum woman who resembled Peter Kay in a wig (possibly the reason for her glumness).

We went out around town for a few drinks in the evening. The first 2 places weren't exactly cosy but we found a hotel bar and things picked up after that (ie we were pissed). We stumbled back to the B&B with a Chinese takeaway. Still didn't like Thurso much though (sorry to any Thursonians).

Not everywhere was picturesque... One of the less welcoming pubs in Thurso

Loch Ness

2005-05-08T20:15:00.000+01:00

Appears it's true what Bill Bryson says about B&B dining rooms in "Notes From A Small Island" as everyone felt compelled to eat breakfast in complete silence with only the tick tock of the clock and arrival of more toast breaking the silence.

Fully toasted up we headed to Inverness Airport (well I say "airport", I've seen it described as "a cow shed that got lucky") to collect the hire car. We drove back through the city centre to pick up the A82 to drive an anti-clockwise circuit around the Loch (for the best views according to the Lonely Planet guide).

Loch Ness. S'alright I suppose

The first proper glimpse of the Loch is hard to describe, having been aware of it for as long as I could remember it seemed unreal that we were actually there. We blamed the TV generation, whenever you're at a famous landmark it feels surreal and like you're looking at a big TV screen!

Of course had to do the touristy stuff at Drumnadrochit; see the Nessie exhibition, buy sheep shot glasses (Scotland is a haven for sheep-related merchandise), take photo of giant fibreglass Nessie, drool over the display in the Whisky Shop etc.

Giant Nessie!

Urquhart Castle looked amazing with the Loch and stormy sky behind, and a rainbow formed over the water just as we arrived which was perfect for the photos (Nessie didn't put in an appearance unfortunately, was it too much to ask that she raise a flipper to say hello after we'd traveled so far?!).

Urquhart Castle (and genuine rainbow; none of that Photoshop bollocks here petal)

This view was nothing compared to the viewpoint on the B862 on the southern side of the Loch between Glendoebeg and Whitebridge. Awesome is an overused word but it applies here in the original meaning rather than the modernised Bill & Ted "awesome dude" sense!

The viewpoint (although photos don't do it justice!)

We headed to our B&B for that night, ran by a very pleasant lady who looked a bit like Carol Vorderman around the eyes (a "Border Vorder") who owned a house with jawdropping views over the Loch. How she ever gets anything done I don't know, I put off the hoovering if Murder She Wrote is on, if I had that view I wouldn't move from the window!

Had the best meal of the holiday in the Clansman Hotel overlooking the Loch which made a memorable 30th birthday for the other half. Like a lot of Scottish drinking establishments, it had a whisky list in the same way restaurants in the rest of the UK have wine lists. Fitting for the occasion the other half had 2 shots of 15 year old whisky (15+15=30!). Unfortunately (or fortunately) I was driving so avoided inevitable over indulgence and credit card maxing out.

Scotland Bound

2005-05-07T20:00:00.000+01:00

View over the River Ness

Ah, Scotland the Brave (or, more accurately when travelling from Eastbourne, Scotland The Bloody Far Away), Wisely we abandoned our initial plan to drive and opted for the train for a bargainous £60 each return. We'd spend that on petrol (or on a solitary sandwich at motorway services, the thieving bastards).

The total 12 hour journey passed faster than expected what with the excitement of going on holiday, great scenery and the high Cute Fluffy Lamb factor (CFL) (in the fields we passed obviously, our tickets were cheap but it didn't mean we were travelling in the livestock compartment).

A short trek through Inverness city centre prompted my other half to conclude we wouldn't be drinking in town that night. Four bouncers to each pub is a little disconcerting, especially when you have an English accent and full tourist clobber (although it appeared we were somewhat over cautious about possible anti-English sentiments. We encountered a particularly grumpy cabbie but decided he was just a miserable git rather than plotting ways to make the English suffer).

We were pleased to discover that our B&B was ran by possibly The Most Helpful Bloke In The World (who, it transpired, had spent some time living in Eastbourne). Small world blah blah.

Inverness Castle

Annoyances Part 2

2005-05-05T03:57:00.000+01:00

3. Not keen on the enforced disclosure of star signs on this blog site. Is it really that important? I expect I'd feel differently if I wasn't the crappest star sign of them all; the one named after a fatal disease (thanks for that, astrological naming types).

Proper Bo I Tell Thee

2005-05-05T03:44:00.000+01:00

Aren't camera phones great? Without one I wouldn't be able to take covert photos of unsuspecting strangers on trains. Check out this woman for Mel B in full on Bo Selecta mode. Fook!

Miracle in the Hole

2005-05-05T03:08:00.000+01:00

"Nice bit of Jif will bring that up a treat...."

BIG fuss in the States when a mark said to resemble the Virgin Mary (she gets about a bit for a virgin doesn't she) appeared in a subway. Pah, to observe a true miracle of epic proportions, check out the replica map of the British Isles which appeared in our toad in the hole dish...

"It's a miracle!"

Annoyances

2005-05-03T21:15:00.000+01:00

Now THIS is something I can embrace on a long-term basis, selected
rantings as I love a good moan. Contrary to what this may suggest I
am generally an upbeat happy person who finds humour in most
situations (regardless of appropriatness).

Things Which Are Crap (in no particular order)

1. Poor spelling/grammar/punctuation

Mis-spelt graffiti is particularly depressing. How can you fail to
spell "arse" correctly?? I have a particular obsession with
punctuation. I believe it relates to having an apostrophe in my name;
Vicki O'Pedant

2. Moronic serving suggestions

Shepherds pie...on a plate. Genius! Branston pickle "ideal of
sandwiches". Inspired; I was going to use it as wallpaper paste.
Advice clearly aimed at people who can't spell "arse".

To be continued....

Five Minute Wonder

2005-05-03T13:50:00.000+01:00

As is my way I started all keen but soon lost interest (in precisely
one evening). I revel in bod and especially sad computer-based
activities usually though so I think it's down to my life in
Eastbourne (the anus of the south coast) not being exactly action
packed (unless dubious stalking practices around Sainsbury's count
but I'm not sure I feel confident enough to commit them to print).

However, we're soon off to Scotland for a short break so I hope to do
a diary-type blog about that. There's always something of interest
to report when we go away, usually relating to a dodgy B&B (winning
story so far - the B&B near Canterbury which doubled as a brothel
with two resident prostitutes).

Until then...keep blogging (or not)

Anne Frank's blog

2005-02-22T20:03:00.000Z

Technology eh, how it moves on. I remember when the loading screen of Daley Thompson's Decathlon on my 48k (yes 48k, hadn't even heard of a megabyte then much less the surely impossible gigabyte) Spectrum was so wonderous it made my jaw drop (after several failed loading attempts due to the volume on the cassette recorder - whatever happened to those - being set to the wrong level; these kids don't know how lucky they are with their instant loading X-Boxes). The loading "wailing fax" sound was kind of cool in it's own way too. Who could forget several hours typing BASIC jargon just to play a feeble Pong knock off (or not, I could never get those bastard things to work. A single incorrect character or a wobble of the power pack and it was mission abandoned in favour of taping Radio 1 Top 40 by putting the aforementioned cassette recorder up against your dad's radio). And what the hell could "POKE" possibly mean?

Imagine how history would have been if technology had advanced at a more accelerated rate. Yarns taught in school would pan out a lot differently "so Anne Frank escaped to the attic with her laptop...." or "The fire brigade arrived promptly in Pudding Lane after several bystanders rang for assistance on their mobiles".

Well here's my first blog

2005-02-19T00:05:00.000Z

This is either a really new & exciting journey on the information super highway or the final nail in my anorak coffin. It may well turn out to be the biggest let down since chat rooms, it sounds a potentially great idea; a meeting of minds from all over the world, a chance to swap fascinating stories and anecdotes with people from different countries and/or cultures, an opportunity to make friends with similar interests....or just a place to observe the banal conversations of people who obviously already know each other (can't these people just meet for a pint?) or be persued by perverted cretins who fancy a wank.

I'll see how it pans out, I've always enjoyed the sound of my own typing (the computer version of the sound of my own voice....) .

I've spent far too long setting this up so I will leave it here for now and have a read at what some of my fellow bloggers have got to say for themselves.

Goodbye if anyone is actually reading this is!